"To consider God as within us, and ourselves as existing in God: to live under the eye of Jesus Christ by means of recollection, in His hands by resignation, and at His feet by humility and a sincere acknowledgement of our miseries, is to live really as Christians; for we can only be such in proportion as we are devoted to Jesus Christ. Why then are we so much and so frequently attracted by news, curiosities, and vanity, and so little interested with God, our duties, and our salvation? It is because we are indifferent to the things of eternity, and too much attached to those things which pass away with time. Let us, therefore, begin to be now what we hope to be forever - occupied only with God, in God, and for God." - St.Louis de Montfort

"Love is a mystery that transforms everything it touches into things beautiful and pleasing to God. The love of God makes a soul free." - From the Diary of St.Faustina

A new song

This song has been my anthem for some time now.

"Far off hymns and funeral marches sound the same again
My ears are worn and weary strangers in a strange land
And I need a new song
I need a new song

And all I am is breath and vapour and shadows
And all I have is what I need, this I know
That I need a new song
Yeah I need a new song

Waiting in the night for you Lord
Waiting in the sky for you, you ohh

There's an aching in my body, in my lungs
This web of bones around my heart are coming undone
As I, I need a new song
I need a new song

So I’m waiting in the night for you Lord
Waiting in the sky for you, you
Waiting in the night for you, you
I’m waiting in the sky for you

Words are failing
My melodies falter
My voice is breaking
My heart is burning
‘Cause blessing and honour
Glory and power
Praise and worship
They belong to you

I need a new I need a new
Need a new I need a new
Need a new I sing a new song

Far off hymns and funeral marches
All I am is breath and vapour and shadows
And all I have is what I need and this I know"

I imagine Adam sought his “new song” as he experienced the weight of sin, the burden of labor, and the disunity created through disobedience.
Noah must have prayed this as he witnessed the rampant wickedness of mankind.
Abraham must have felt this on the three-day journey to Mount Moriah to offer his son as a sacrifice. The son he and Sara had long awaited. The son that God had finally blessed them with.
This must have also been the anthem of Moses and the Israelites, as they journeyed in the desert heat for four decades.
The same for all who came after these. I think we all have these moments. Moments in our lives where we feel completely worn out while seeking God. Feeling a sort of numbness but continuing to follow. And we pray and pray for a “new song.”

I’ve been struggling through an “I need a new song” period. As I’d discerned God’s will for me in my life, school, and ministry in the past year or so, I came to understand the direction that God desired for me to take. But on so many levels, it was a difficult one…and pretty much what felt like the absolute last thing I wanted to do.

But I must share that as I pray and trust through the difficulties of treading through unfamiliar land, I am slowly beginning to understand the beauty of the journey.

Often times, we interpret things the way we want to. If we want something to be right, we’ll make it right…no matter how wrong it actually is.” Sometimes God says, “No” but our disillusioned hearts hear “Let’s go!” But I’m learning more and more that, a red light is a red light, even if you excuse yourself by saying that you’re driving to an awesome place like church. Lol. Because there really is no way like God’s way.

It’s so easy to doubt these red lights in our lives. To ask God, “Why?” But most of the time, we’ll never fully understand the whys. And the beauty lies in the mystery…in the call to trust in His goodness. As St. Paul writes, “At present, we indistinctly, but then face to face.” And for the meantime, I’m realizing that I must trust wholeheartedly in God’s promises.

Because our Father is one who keeps His promises.

I think I had been acting a lot like Eve, who sought to grasp and possess the fruit out of distrust of God’s graciousness. And like Sara, who after being told that God would bless Abraham will countless descendants, told Abraham to lie with Hagar to take into her own hands what God had already promised to fulfill. I am often an impatient person. I want to speed things up sometimes, instead of remembering that God brings all things to completion.

Trusting that God has a plan is the first step, but we must not try to fulfill that plan in our own way, in the way that we believe best suits us. God must also initiate the fulfillment of His plan. We must remember our place. We simply cooperate with God’s initiative work. And taking His desires into our own hands shows a lack of patience, trust, and reverence.

In Christ, we discover what perfect obedience, perfect love, and perfect fulfillment mean. He said, “It is finished” and breathed His last.

This is what we celebrate this Easter and, ultimately, this is what we seek: to unite ourselves to Christ – “the way, the truth, and the life.” This is the utmost desire of our hearts, whether we realize it or not. It is what we were made for.

But to truly “walk with God” we must follow in the way that He desires us to follow. And that’s often one of the hardest parts. Most of the time, I’d rather “follow” in my own way.
However, one thing (of the many things) we can take in from those before us, who paved the way, is this:

If God wants to take you in circles to get somewhere, go in circles. If he wants you to spend forty years in the desert…let him. And rejoice in it! If God wants you to have your cake and eat it too, then eat it and praise His name. If he doesn’t, then don’t…and still give Him thanks. Each day in Christ is one in which we must give thanks and walk humbly with God. Whenever we find ourselves in unknown land, we can find solace and assurance in the truth of His promises. This is so much easier said than done…but let's have faith that God will provide the grace needed to respond to Him.
I’m not sure if any of this made any sense at all, but I hope our Lord will use my sharing this. Have a blessed Easter season.

"Once united with the crucified Christ, we begin to understand that everywhere else, sin is excused, sin is discounted, sin is denied, sin explained away, but only at the foot of the cross do we ever experience the divine contradiction that sin is forgiven." Archbishop Fulton Sheen