I know I’m 20, but I have to admit…I’m a huge Disney Princess fan. And Disney taught me a lot growing up. Cinderella, the Little Mermaid, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White are prime examples. When young girls are put to bed, they’re often told stories about a princess finding her prince…and how the two lived happily ever after.
And these stories really become a part of them. They begin to dream about their own kingdom far, far away...their own prince..their own story of love. But I think the reason girls tend to hold on to these fairy tale ideas (well maybe just this girl) is because they speak something to the heart of a woman. God breathed into her a desire to love and be loved. It’s what she was made for. It wraps around the core of her existence, her purpose, the very essence of her being. He desired for her to be in complete union with this love – His love. And she sets out on the journey, waiting to find that special someone…the one she’s told will be her knight in shining armor.
But here’s the dangerous part. We often fail to see, as young women, these desires in the light of God’s plan. In the light of truth. And we end up giving into the lies of society. We choose to take the poisonous apple, touch the needle of the spinning wheel’s spindle, kiss a real frog.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news. And I don’t mean to sound like a pessimist. But there’s no guy in the world that could rescue me from every danger. There’s no guy that could complete me. There’s no guy that could be my all in all. Every person I know will at some point disappoint me, will at one point fail me.
And I think it’s important to remember that. The idea of "true love" that I see on the screen in a Disney movie should be sought after and does exist, but it’s not the fulfillment I could ever find in another created being. It’s something much greater than that.
The world tells a girl: A girl’s wedding day is supposed to be like the best day of her life. Her future spouse is going to complete her and be her one, true love. He’s her knight in shining armor. He’ll be perfect in every way. But these expectations are false and can cause a girl to seriously misunderstand marriage and love as a whole. It gives her the impression that in her earthly marriage is where she'll find ultimate fulfillment. But the truth is, marriage points to that ultimate fulfillment in Christ. The best day of my life will not be my wedding day. It'll probably always be each new day I experience…because I have come to know Christ and experience his love a little bit more than I had. Each day brings grace anew! And with each new day I’m transformed and made a little more to fit His image. My past experiences continue to shape me and I am closer to the day I will be forever with my God.
Be careful not to give into the Father of Lies, but allow God to transform you from the inside out.
Don't ask me why I was thinking about this today (I don't even know where God is calling me yet), but I want my wedding day (if that is what He desires for me) to be a reflection of what I want my marriage to look like. I want it to be completely Christ-centered. So yes, it’s about me and my future spouse…a celebration of our love. But not a love that points to each other and how awesome we are…but that points to Him and how awesome He is. Because no matter what I go through in my marriage (no matter what difficulties, suffering, tests I experience)… I want to glorify Him. It has to be about that. Marriage is not always easy. Marriage is not always fun. But I believe that God is going to use my marriage to really sanctify me and lead me to Him. I want people to walk out of my wedding ceremony and know the awesome love that God has…I hope when people see me and my spouse, they are able to see God’s love in the flesh. Some will leave thinking nothing but…”They’re such a cute couple” or “They ran out of wine (sound familiar?)” or “I loved her dress” or “They had a really nice color scheme”…but I hope that it can be about more than those technicalities. I don’t want to walk into my marriage with all these false expectations. I know that I’m not always going to be understood, I may not always be loved, I’m not always going to be cared for the way God intended for me to. I might get hurt, I might be dishonored, I might feel really alone at times. My future spouse could really hurt me sometimes. I’ll make mistakes, my husband will make mistakes. But we’ll get through it, we’ll be faithful to each other and the promise that we make to God. We’ll learn what it means to love as Christ loves. And I will be committed to caring for him, loving him, and getting to know him a little more each day (never assuming that what I see in him in a moment of anger is all there is to him). God sees my whole person, and I want to do the same with my future spouse. And anything we go through, we won’t go through alone. God will form us and teach us. He’ll pick us up and carry us through those difficulties. My hope and trust all rests in the truth of His power, His goodness, His glory.
I would encourage each girl (and I mean this - from my heart to yours) to allow God to write your love story. And not just that, let Him BE your love story. For without Him, there is no love. And in Him is perfect love. It’s not a fairy tale. It’s as real as it can get. Put your hope and trust in His love and mercy. And “hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us" (Romans 5:5). Nothing else satisfies. In Him we are complete. Everything that leads us away from this truth instead of towards it is a counterfeit.
“For God so LOVED the world that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him might not perish but might have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
